


but the moment never comes.

by zeroescape



Category: THE iDOLM@STER
Genre: F/F, alludes to completely consenting but emotionally fucked up sex, sachiko is 18 and mayu is 20, some alcohol is involved but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-09 23:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13492179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeroescape/pseuds/zeroescape
Summary: Mayu invites herself over to Sachiko's for another wholesome Girls' Night with the BFF.Alright, maybe not that wholesome.





	but the moment never comes.

Sachiko Koshimizu is, has always been, a good girl.

She was always the near-perfect girl everybody else wished they could have been. She sang her songs with her cute voice, danced with cute movements, but also had the cleverest, kindest, and most helpful heart ever.

Now, an idol of nearly five years, she was still growing in popularity. She had just turned eighteen a couple weeks ago, and her hair now came down to the middle of her back, but she kept her two signature tufts throughout the years and certainly had no intention of ever graduating from being cute.

After a long day of radio interviews and handshakes and photo ops, the exhausted yet still undeniably cute Sachiko came home to her apartment, immediately peeled off her blouse and skirt, and changed into her pale yellow pajamas before flopping onto her bed.

She looked up at the ceiling, thinking of her schedule for tomorrow, of all the loving fans and important people from important companies she’d have to meet. Closing her eyes, she began thinking of the bakeries in the area she might be able to visit during her breaks.

Her cellphone, sitting next to her pillow, began to vibrate. She stretched her neck and peered at the caller ID. Mayu.

Sighing, she picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“Hi, Sachiko! How was your day?”

“Great!” replied Sachiko, trying to hide the tiredness in her voice. “I just got back from that promotional event I told you about.”

“Ah, I see! Well uh, I was wondering if I could come over to your place? I bought beer too! I’m really sorry about it being late and all, but I really wanted to see you.”

Sachiko hesitated, but the words “Sure thing” were out of her lips before her brain had fully decided that it agreed.

“Thank you so so so much, I’ll be there soon!”

Sachiko sighed. Being such a good friend could be taxing.

Not three seconds after she hung up, Mayu knocked on the apartment door.

Sachiko lifted her legs in the air, swung them over the side of the bed, and stood up. “ _Coming!”_ She shuffled out her bedroom to the front door, and opened it to see Mayu wearing a dusty pink coat and holding a convenience store plastic bag.

“Jeez,” groaned Sachiko as she ushered the freezing girl inside and took her coat to hang on the rack. “Doesn’t lolita fashion let you wear any warm clothes, or longer coats?"

Mayu ignored the question and walked straight to the couch in the living room. She set the plastic bag on the coffee table, tucked her skirt underneath her as she gently lowered herself to sit on the couch, and pulled out a can of beer from the bag.

“Today has been just dreadful,” sighed Mayu, as she opened the can.

Sachiko walked over and sat down next to her. “What’s up?”

“I asked her again. She still says that I’m too young for her.” Mayu took a gulp of beer.

Inwardly, Sachiko sighed. This again.

“Well, that does make sense. She _is,_ like, 40 years older than you.”

“She’s only _thirteen_ years older than me, thank you very much!” said Mayu in almost a yell with wide eyes. Looking embarrassed at her sudden outburst, Mayu cleared her throat and spoke again with a softer voice. “It’s not like she’s seeing anybody else. That one guy from a few months ago is gone now.”

Sachiko opened her mouth to ask something, but closed it again as she decided against it. She then cleared her throat as Mayu took a sip.

“How was your photoshoot?” Sachiko offered. “That was today, right?”

“It was fine.”

“And training with the new recruits, right? How’s the unit looking?”  
  
“Training was fine. The unit is fine.”

“Well.... Oh, you’ve got a signing event tomorrow, right? That’ll be nice, getting to show everybody who you are and stuff.”  
  
“Yeah.”

“I love doing signings. I wish I could come say hi, but you know, the people always want to see me!”

“Yeah.”

Sachiko shifted uncomfortably in her seat. As always, Mayu only had one thing... one person on her mind.

A few moments of awkward silence passed until Mayu asked, “Still not gonna drink?” tilting her can toward the others sitting in the plastic bag in invitation.

“You know that I’m underage! Besides,” said Sachiko as she cleared her throat, gave a flip of her hair, and sat up a little straighter on the couch, “when I turn twenty the only image of cute little me drinking that I want people to see is of me wearing a long satin dress lying on a velvet couch with a glass of champagne in my hand. Nothing but class.” She had also tried beer once at an afterparty after Kaede insisted that she’d enjoy it, but found the taste revolting. But Mayu didn’t need to know that.

“I see...” Mayu looked down at her beer, tracing her finger in circles around the rim.

Sachiko huffed. “Anyway, it’s not a good idea to drink just because you’re sad. There are better ways to help, and you don’t even like the taste of it either. And don’t give me that look,” said Sachiko when Mayu looked up to protest, “I can see the way your eyes squint whenever you take a drink!”

Mayu slumped back into the couch and her eyes went to the can in her hands again. “The producer said that I’d get used to the taste quickly.” Her voice was soft.

Sachiko wanted to scream.

“What’s the rush, anyway? God damn it, you just turned 20 three months ago and you’ll be able to drink for the rest of your life, why do you have to do it now?” Not like Sachiko didn’t know the answer. Mayu was always desperate to show the world how mature she was; to show her producer how mature she was.

After a tense pause, Sachiko sighed. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. It’s just that I really worry about you, you know?” She pulled Mayu in and held her in a brief hug, and when she let go, Mayu set down the beer on the coffee table and scooted closer until Sachiko’s arm was sandwiched between them.

A few seconds passed, and Mayu laid her head on Sachiko’s shoulder. Sachiko’s hair, held between her shoulder and Mayu’s head, kept her from moving her head away from Mayu’s. Like a dog tethered by a leash.

“Your hair is so long now compared to when we first met.”

“Yeah...” Without thinking, Sachiko began twirling a few strands of her hair with the hand not trapped between the two girls’ thighs. Three years ago, she decided to grow her hair out after realizing that she and Mayu’s producer had the same hair length. Now, she grimaced at the thought. As if changing her hair would have been able to fix an identity crisis. She was stupid to think that Mayu liked Sachiko because she reminded Mayu of the producer; after all, the two were hardly similar.

 _Or maybe you were disgusted with yourself after you realized that you were trying to be more like the producer?_ Sachiko squeezed her eyes shut and imagined herself physically trying to shoo away the thought, as though it were a bee. She sighed.

“You’ve been sighing more than usual these days, Sachiko.”

Sachiko wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. _No thanks to you._

“Ah, well, you know, holidays are coming up and my schedule’s just been packed, as expected. Guess I’ve been a little stressed, but that’s just the price you gotta pay when everybody recognizes your talent... I guess.”

Several minutes of silence passed, and Sachiko wondered if Mayu had fallen asleep, until she felt a warm hand slip underneath her pajama shirt.

“ _Whoa—_ “

Sachiko looked at Mayu and tried to lean away, but otherwise didn’t make much effort to get the hand out from her shirt. Mayu slowly swept her hand up Sachiko’s stomach.

“Do you ever get lonely, Sachiko?” asked Mayu, still not looking back at Sachiko as she moved her hand. “I get so lonely sometimes. You’re the only one I can admit this to, you know?” She lightly traced circles around Sachiko’s navel with the tip of her middle finger. “You’re just so nice to me.”

Sachiko took Mayu’s hand and held it underneath her shirt, to which Mayu met Sachiko’s eyes.

“Mayu, you—I—we—we gotta stop doing this. We can’t do this. What...” Sachiko frantically thought of what to say. “What about your producer?”

“What _about_ her?” Mayu pulled her hand away from Sachiko’s, and out from underneath the shirt. Her hands then went to the collar of Sachiko’s shirt, and began unbuttoning until Sachiko ripped Mayu’s hands away and stood up from the couch.

“Mayu, _stop!_ ”

Breathing heavily, Sachiko watched as Mayu, mouth slightly agape in surprise, looked up at her from the couch with wide eyes. Then, Mayu’s eyebrows furrowed and tears started forming at the corners of her eyes.

“ _Please,_ Sachiko!” Mayu yelled desperately. “Please help me! Help me like you always do!” A tear rolled down her cheek. “I know you want to, you’re always so nice and caring!” A heavy lump formed in Sachiko’s throat and pins started pricking at her skull as she watched another two tears stream out from those rich blue eyes. “Help me, please! I know you want to help me! _You_ know you want to!”

Sachiko slowly sat back down on the couch as Mayu repeated “please, please!” in between sobs. Sachiko put a hand to Mayu’s cheek and wiped away tears as they fell with her thumb. For a minute, the only sounds in the room were of Mayu gasping to breathe and the _tick tock_ of the wall clock.

Finally, Sachiko sighed.

 _This is fucked up,_ she thought as she raised her free hand to take Mayu’s face in both her hands, then closed her eyes and pressed her lips to Mayu’s. But Sachiko was a good girl. And a good girl would do anything to stop the girl she loved from crying.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been... a while since I wrote fic. Though I was never an active writer in the first place.  
> I may or may not continue this since I'm usually only capable of writing one-shots but... maybe.  
> Many thanks to the ever wonderful and helpful rankarana for betareading!
> 
> Title is from Muse's "Endlessly." I guess it doesn't make that much sense on its own so maybe give it a listen and see the rest of the lyrics. But it's only mildly relevant.


End file.
